Isaac and the Awkward Situations

Here we have a preview of a new Planeswalker, I’ll throw in my two cents on her.

Black has had tutors before, but never a card that specifically gets swamps

It can be used with Spellshaper effects, like an Urborg Syphon mage, though that effect seems only good in EDH. So… yeah, after turn 4 you wont miss land drops, but what a shame if you draw a land, then you’ll feel silly. It can be used to shuffle a deck for Senseis Divining top or ponder. Combo with Landfall such as Ob Nixilis? An underused card called Savor the Moment could ensure land drops.

Ability two: here we have sorcery speed removal or pump, and though it is flexible, it is expensive. She makes any creature a shade? Well, you better hope you have trample or flying because you can’t choose the creature after blockers are declared. It will kill creatures sometimes, but if their best creature has toughness higher than the number of swamps you control you’ll feel pretty frustrated.

The way they design plansewalkers, you read the first two and then get all pumped for the final effect. If you are like me, you were thinking, Ok, those effects are synergistic and slightly interesting, the “ult” will surely be amazing… ok … what is it?

Lake of the Dead? I’m all for nostalgia, but… was anybody really missing this card?

That’s disappointing. I mean, it doesn’t only “not” win the game, it “can’t” win the game. Many other ults on planeswalkers can win the game on their own, but this one just sets you up to do something else. What are you going to do? Cast a Drain life effect? Cast a huge flying demon? Cast a Bonfire of the Damned for some number large enough to win? Too bad that requires a few mountains too, and another mythic card… and Chandra had that effect “built in.” Chandra! The “unplayable” bastard redhead stepdaughter planeswalker. How underwhelming. In modern or EDH it could fuel out an Eldrazi in Mono Black control… on about turn… six… if your opponent doesn’t interact or damage her. If you are playing nothing but swamps, (and that of course can include fetch lands and shock lands) you can get 20 mana on turn 6… or 24 and keep her around on turn 7 but why would you ever want to? Its not like she’s going to do anything. Maybe you could use her second ability to pump your demon or eldrazi… on like turn 20 or so. Maybe the Ravnica block will give us something to do with 20 black or colorless mana.

So what else could it have been?

Well, Hecatomb comes to mind, and would have been synergistic with the other two effects. They may have thought of it and shot it down as being too similar to Koth of the Hammer. The effect makes more sense in red these days.  Maybe it could have been “remove a card in your graveyard from the game to do 1 damage to any creature or player.”  It could have been infect damage. I’d like to see a planeswalker really abuse the graveyard like Psychatog. He or she could go well with Tibalt the fiend-blooded. He could have a self mill effect for a loyalty counter adding ability, removing cards to deal damage as a loyalty removing ability and then what would be logical for an ultimate…. hmmm. well, Yawgmoth’s Will of course! A man can dream.

Hooka the Opium Addled

2UB  Loyalty 3

+1: target player puts the top two cards of his or her library into the graveyard . If that graveyard has 15 or more cards in it, put 5 cards instead.

-2: remove x cards from your graveyard from the game, Hooka does x damage to target creature.

-6: you get an emblem with “you may play cards from your graveyard as if they were in your hand. If an instant or sorcery would be put in your graveyard, remove it from the game.

One might question if it is wise to have the word “terrible” in your name, but this band sounds pretty amazing. Their lead singer’s voice is rough, low and gravelly, like a Tom Waits/Man Man thing. They have a player who supplies trumpet and trombone, and another who adds sweet layers with a violin. There is a slow, groovy New Orleans vibe to it. Songs were often complex arrangements, with multiple slow parts, sometimes making me wish they would just play a regular predictable chorus/ verse style song. The album art and song topics can sometimes beat you over the head with “misery sorrow!” I liked it when the band let loose and had more fun; they did so on their closer, a rollicking singalong tribute to whiskey and marijuana.Their keyboard player, Sarah has some pipes on her as well. When she howled “I gave my life to science” on an epic Blues song; we were all convinced this band rocks. She picks up the accordion sometimes and provides more textures. Its great when she joins in on vocals with Kent. We thank them for driving up their 7 member band to play at the Marlin, and I recommend you catch them if they come to your town.

terriblebuttons.com

For fans of Drug Rug, Man Man, Blackbird Raum